So this would usually be around the time where I go into another spite filled speech about just how the male species is a waste of DNA and space who just takes away from our oxygen intake by spitting bullshit in waves of untimely uncompromising incomprehensible CO2 but it would be an even bigger waste of space than they are making me nothing more than a hypocrite. But now I think about it, perhaps they were right. Maybe it’s us females that are the lower species for repeatedly falling for same old story from a different face. The saying goes, “Fool me once, shame on you. Fool me twice, shame on me.” So shame on me, shame on all of us for being open , for falling for the fronts, for giving second chances, for believing, for having hope of that ideal. But before you try to slice your wrists with a pink Bic razor with daisies on it, do not distress for it is not entirely our weakness that drives us to our doom. I also blame the media for brainwashing our minds with nothing but fallacies. Take a look at some of the prewritten prepackaged lines that females spew in so called ‘chic flicks’. America’s sweetheart Meg Ryan in You’ve Got Mail says that she doesn’t have someone else “but there's the dream of someone else.” And in her world, that dream is enough to keep her from bashing in her boyfriends head as he explains that he’s found someone else.  Of course her prewritten prepackaged story also has the included extra for no fee of 1 perfect ending having the ever so handsome and genuine Tom Hanks sweep her of in her feet in a moment of bliss and tears where she mumbles “I wanted it to be you. I wanted it to be you so badly” as the perfectly orchestrated music comes on and the scene fades out. We on the other hand are left with buttery fingers, blurry vision from the welling tears, and that insatiable hope that we too will find ourselves in the arms of our Tom Hanks in a park in the middle of the city. But as the lights come on, so does the reality of the emptiness in the seat beside us even if it’s filled. Empty. Of course males say that we drive ourselves to emptiness. We pass up Mr. Right in hope for the badass Mr. Right now. Nice guys finish last. Well guess what fellas, so do nice girls. Because the truth of it is that every story has the same ending.  Even the ‘nice guys’ screw you over. So here’s to the guy who opens doors. Here’s to the guy who holds your hand when you’re having a bad day. Here’s to the guy who goes to McDonald’s and pays 25 cents for some sweet & sour sauce because Wendy’s ran out. Here's to the nice guy who tells you that he's not the nice guy you thought he was. Here’s to the nice guy who breaks your heart into 7 million pieces on the drop of a dime one afternoon.Here’s to the nice guy who once and for all lets you know that there is no hope. Thank you Mr. Nice Guy.

I wanted it to be you. I wanted it to be you so badly.

A tí, cobarde maltratador

Tu carita de niño guapo
se la ha ido comiendo el tiempo

por tus venas

y tu inseguridad machista

se refleja cada dia en mis lagrimitas

una vez más no por favor
que estoy cansá y no puedo con el corazón

una vez más no mi amor por favor

no grites, que los niños duermen

Voy a volverme como el fuego
voy a quemar tu puño de acero

y del morao de mis mejillas

saldrá el valor pa cobrarme las heridas

malo, malo, malo eres
no se daña a quien se quiere, no

tonto, tonto, tonto eres

no te pienses mejor que las mujeres

El día es gris cuando tu estás
y el sol vuelve a salir

cuando te vas

y la penita de mi corazón

yo me la tengo que tragar

con el fogón

mi carita de niña linda
se ha ido envejeciendo

en el silencio

cada vez que me dices puta

se hace tu cerebro más pequeño

una vez más no por favor
que estoy cansá y no puedo con el corazón

una vez más no mi amor por favor

no grites, que los niños duermen

Voy a volverme como el fuego
voy a quemar tu puño de acero

y del morao de mis mejillas

saldrá el valor pa cobrarme las heridas

malo, malo, malo eres
no se daña a quien se quiere, no

tonto, tonto, tonto eres

no te pienses mejor que las mujeres

malo, malo, malo eres
malo eres porque quieres

malo, malo, malo eres

no me chilles que me duele

eres débil y eres malo
y no te pienses mejor que yo

ni que nadie

y ahora yo me fumo un cigarito
y te echo el humo en el corazoncito

porque malo, malo, malo eres

malo, malo, malo eres, si

malo, malo, malo eres

Updates

So I have been gone for a while and you may wonder why I have not written. Well I was quite ill last week. Therefore I couldn’t get to a computer I missed 3 days of school. Oh well and a few things happened too..

Wednesday

I came home feeling so sick it’s not even funny. I realized it earlier that morning because I was feeling very faint and drowsy. I had lost my appetite and I was very irratible and just plain lousy. To make it even better my dad had taken away the car from my mother so I had to help her find a way to get to work somehow. Well the night before they got into a very big argument. What happened is that Tuesday I took my mom to Farmingdale University so she can take some English classes and it occurs to her to stop by and spy on my dad. Honestly I wasn’t in the mood to argue with her so I said to go and make it snappy but, no. So she decided to wait around for him and yes there he was at the other woman’s house and yes she caught him red handed but, what the hell didn’t she know he’s been cheating on her or wait hasn’t she been knowing?. Obviously she was pist off and the minute he got home he knew what was going to go down. I was downstairs in my room getting ready for bed when all of a sudden I herd screaming. My dad had hit my mom somewhere or so she says and she broke his DVD player smashing it into ity bity pieces. I was so confused I just continued with my English project not really concerning myself with what was happening around me. Quite frankly im used to the fighting and all the shit that happens so It wasn’t like it was something new. I just came to the sad realization that my home is not my home. I think to find a stable piece of mind I have to leave and the only correct way in leaving is by going away to college. In all honesty I wish I didn’t have to leave and leave my mother for the most part. I love her a lot and the day I leave will be so sad but, things don’t seem to be changing and I can’t deal with the hostility anymore.

Thursday

I slept most of the day watched some TV. took a shower then my mom called me to go pck her up at her job. Oh and I went to the mall and I went to Victoria’s Secret to buy some under garments. I also bought a cute shirt at Forever 21. I was sick and bored so I shopped a little.

Friday

I didn’t do much either I slept practically all day and didn’t do much. At night I went to go run my errand that pertained to Claudio and I guess it went ok. I had to do it because if not I guess he would have thought wrong of me or something. I mean the kid hates me and him hating me even more wouldn’t really fix the situation. I guess he was surprised I showed up at his job but, he didn’t seem to care much. Im just happy I got it off my back that’s all. Then after I finished that I went to go see the grudge with my mom. My day sucked. Natalie faught Aracely too..what joy! :]

Saturday

I didn’t do much I went to Rob’s house for a little in the morning then I left. After that I went to my cousin’s house. Then I went to dinner with Daliza and Denise which was fun then I went to see SAW with Denise. We then walked home and I went home and yeah..

Sunday

I didn’t do shit. I went to work and that’s it. Halloween sucked.

So yeah that’s it nothing but nothing exciting just plain old BULL ish..

Oh and Jason and I is done that went quick didn’t it? I really don’t like to talk about it because the whole situation went SOUR let me tell you…